There was something very special about Malia.

She sparkled.

You can clearly see the sparkle in her eyes in the photos.

You can also hear the sparkle in her voice during her answer at the end of the video.

I can even feel her sparkle now in my heart this morning as I write this post.

We had a really sweet and funny interaction. Most of which is not shown in this video. I had to cut so much fun conversation out because I felt like Malia’s answer at the end of the video needed to be heard.

It starts off simple, “Just be yourself.” But then with everything she adds I realize it’s probably the hardest advice to live up to in real life.

There are so many forces in life that want us to fit into a template—our society, our culture, even our families. It happens right before our eyes, and if we’re not careful, we wake up feeling like we’re living someone else’s life.

It even happened to me. At one point I lived a life that people expected me to live: I worked a high-paying job, lived in a beautiful condo, had a fancy car, and more. But inside I felt like a total phony. And when I drove home from work I couldn’t ignore the pain in my heart and body. I wanted to scream, “Whose life is this?!”

I took a giant risk by letting go of who I was supposed to be to find out who I really was. I started over completely and built my life from the ground up. And that was just the beginning.

Who we are is constantly changing. So in order to be myself I needed to build an ongoing relationship with me. This required deep listening, deep compassion, and the courage to act on it.

This takes courage because it can be terrifying. But not as terrifying as living someone else’s life ever was.

Thank you Malia for taking time out of your day to make art with a stranger. I needed to hear your advice.

Your answer allowed me to reflect on my own journey and the many times I was lost because I was living for others. And it reminded me how committed I have now become to being myself.

Big love,

D

PS: If you want to see the behind the scenes video of me approaching Malia and taking these photos, check out my Instagram or my TikTok.

One yes can change everything.

My goal on this day of photographing strangers was to take photos of 5 awesome humans. After almost 2 hours of walking around in a new city in a different country, with no photos of strangers, I was ready to give up.

Things didn’t go as I had hoped. I was stuck. And the longer I was stuck, the more I convinced myself to give up.

I let so many awesome strangers walk right by me. I was imagining people rejecting me without even speaking to them. I convinced myself they would say no and watched dozens and dozens of people walk away.

The moment I was about to quit, I sat down on a bench and heard a voice whisper:

“Most people quit right before something interesting is about to happen. Shoot the damn ball, Darius.”

Then I looked up and saw this super interesting dude, who would be my first yes in this new city.

The rest of the day I spiralled into a winning streak. I felt like I was flying.

This isn’t groundbreaking; it’s just basic math. If there are zero attempts, there are zero failures.

You can’t miss a basketball shot if you never shoot.

Let alone win a game. Or have fun playing.

I was even ready for more people to say no. And that felt totally okay. Shooting and missing are just a part of the game.

This video actually starts with a gem of a human at the counter saying no thanks, then suggesting I photograph her co-worker and friend Val.

I needed that NO to bring me one step closer to my next YES.

In this example I was only seconds away.

Sometimes it’s not that immediate. But what if there’s a yes out there waiting for you?

Are you willing to shoot your shot and let go of the damn ball?

Love,

D

PS: If you want to see the behind the scenes video of me approaching Val and taking these photos, check out my Instagram or my TikTok.

I was moved by Jonny’s answer at the end of today’s video.

Jonny is only 20 years old, but he feels like he’s got to hurry up and make moves.

Or maybe I am projecting. Because that’s how I feel too: as if I’m always 50 steps behind where I should be.

This feeling started when I was around 10 years old when I got into sports. Playing basketball made me feel important and connected to something greater than myself. So I told myself I needed to make it to the NBA. It’s like a fire inside me was lit.

I am now 40 years old—double Jonny’s age—and I still feel the constant fear and sadness that I won’t live up to my potential.

I’m perpetually hungry for more. Hungry to make more, to express more, and to be more within my life.

But when I’m not careful, this hunger burns me out. In fact, even when I am careful, it still sometimes does.

I think about how Steve Jobs famously said the key to life is to “stay hungry.”

While I agree, I also think that if you don’t take time to slow down, to celebrate how far you’ve come, and to count the blessings already in your life… the same hunger that drives you becomes the hunger that starves you.

I’m starting to open up about my fears of not being enough with my friends. They encourage me to be kind to myself, and remind me of how far I’ve come. I am grateful for their support and love. But to be honest sometimes it’s hard to receive and believe. The fire inside is too big and too hungry and somehow I am back to feeling behind.

So thank you Jonny, for getting it. And for taking time out of your shift at the restaurant to make art with a stranger.

Big love,

D

PS: If you want to see the behind the scenes video of me approaching Jonny and taking these photos, check out my Instagram or my TikTok.

Here are 7 things I love about dogs:

1. They don’t give a shit about how much money you make.

2. They make great cuddle buddies.

3. They demand that you spend time outside in nature.

4. They make sure you move your body every day.

5. They can smell your emotions—you can’t hide your feelings from them.

6. They will teach you a masterclass in unconditional love.

7. Loyalty.

When I was a kid, I had a dog named Comet. She was like a rocket: a beautiful, crazy-fast black lab who felt more like a sibling. And she kind of was, since my mom worked a lot as a nurse and I was an only child.

I remember the first time my mom and I met Comet as a tiny puppy. My mom had no interest in getting a dog, as a single mom who had too much on her plate already. But then Comet went outside to pee—sitting down. My mom had never seen a girl dog pee before. She instantly fell in love with Comet and said, “She pees like a lady.”

Dogs have a way of bringing people together and melting the protective armour around our hearts.

Thank you Chrissy for taking time out of your day to make art with a stranger. And a special thanks to Boogie, for keeping us present in the moment.

It was a treat to meet both of you.

Big love,

D

PS: If you want to see the behind the scenes video of me approaching Chrissy + Boogie and taking these photos, check out my Instagram or my TikTok.

I am not sure what Helen meant by her answer in this video, but it hit hard.

Every time I watch her answer it impacts me deeper.

I am about to make an assumption and I could be way wrong. So if that’s the case, I apologize. But I have a feeling her answer is connected to the active war taking place in her home country.

The truth is I felt tongue-tied. You can hear it in my voice when she tells me she is from Ukraine.

I was nervous because I didn’t have the courage to say what I really wanted to say.

If I did, it would of sounded something like this…

How are you?

How is your family?

I am so sorry for what is happening in your home country.

It’s a tragedy. And my heart breaks everytime I hear about the pain and suffering that is taking place in your beautiful country.

AND…

I am deeply inspired by the tenacity and strength of the Ukrainian people.

The odds are so heavily stacked against them, yet they refuse to stand down.

I hope this war ends quickly and as peacefully as possible. There has already been way too much unnecessary suffering.

That would've been my truth.

But instead I said “nice” in a super high pitched tone.

It’s awkward and difficult for me to talk about war and death and pain with a stranger. I don’t want to upset them or overstep and make things worse.

This scenario has happened to me before. Toronto is my home, but Iran is my homeland—where I was born. So when a non-Iranian person reaches out to show support for the tragedies happening in my home country, it melts my heart.

Looking back, I wish I spent a minute after our photoshoot to have a conversation. Not for social media, but just as humans.

I think Helen started following me on IG, but I can’t find her.

Maybe one day we will talk to each other again.

Helen, thank you for your time. Thank you for your smile. And thank you for your truth in answering my question at the end. Whatever inspired your answer, I am grateful we got a few moments to make something beautiful together.

Big love,

D

PS: If you want to see the behind the scenes video of me approaching Helen and taking these photos, check out my Instagram or my TikTok.

I became obsessed with photography 8 years ago.

Here’s what got me hooked…

When I started taking black and white portraits, I noticed something.

Every human I photographed had two deep feelings that were in conflict:

1. Every human wanted to be seen. And…

2. Every human had a fear that if people saw the real version of themselves, they wouldn’t be liked, loved or respected.

No matter what the person looked like, how old they were, how successful they were… each person I photographed had some version of this conflict.

I had it too. I still have it.

It takes a shit ton of courage to be yourself and to share your truth with the world: the mistakes, the disappointments, the big dreams of what we thought our lives would be.

People who are honest with who they are and what they have gone through will always have my highest respect. Even if their past was messy—mine certainly was.

Because when we share these things, it reminds us ALL that no one is perfect.

And that reminder is what makes us feel connected.

Not just to the person in the photo, but also to our own hearts.

Huge respect to Cody for being so damn real with his answer at the end of this video. Thank you brother for keeping your heart open and being willing to share your wisdom with me and the world.

Big love,

D

PS: In case you were wondering I always ask for permission from each person before I share their photos and their videos on social media. Always.

PPS: If you want to see the behind the scenes video of me approaching Cody and taking these photos, check out my Instagram or my TikTok.

On Saturday morning, I had the sudden urge to watch a few of the music videos I made almost 10 years ago. You might not know this, but before I was a photographer I was a cinematographer and director.

I usually avoid looking at the work from my past because it has a way of making me cringe. I can be hard on myself.

But to my surprise, I was impressed. As I watched these videos from a decade back, I was awestruck by how that younger version of me came up with so many creative ideas.

It might have taken me 10 years, but I finally felt able to appreciate my old work in a way I was not capable of at the time.

This experience made me wonder, “Why was I so hard on myself?”

What would have happened if I took 10% of that critical energy and poured it into encouraging and supporting myself?

I really appreciated Kalen’s message in this video to his younger self. This was certainly a message I needed to hear too.

Thank you, Kalen, for stopping and for taking a few moments to make art with a stranger.

Big love,

D

PS: If you want to see the behind the scenes video of me approaching Kalen and taking these photos, check out my Instagram or my TikTok.