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Toronto Portrait Photographer || HEARTshots || Black + White Photography

Memoirs and musings of Darius Bashar. Toronto portrait photographer and writer, in pursuit of all things real, raw and intimate. 

This is Helen

 

I am not sure what Helen meant by her answer in this video, but it hit hard.

Every time I watch her answer it impacts me deeper.

I am about to make an assumption and I could be way wrong. So if that’s the case, I apologize. But I have a feeling her answer is connected to the active war taking place in her home country.

The truth is I felt tongue-tied. You can hear it in my voice when she tells me she is from Ukraine.

I was nervous because I didn’t have the courage to say what I really wanted to say.

If I did, it would of sounded something like this…

How are you?

How is your family?

I am so sorry for what is happening in your home country.

It’s a tragedy. And my heart breaks everytime I hear about the pain and suffering that is taking place in your beautiful country.

AND…

I am deeply inspired by the tenacity and strength of the Ukrainian people.

The odds are so heavily stacked against them, yet they refuse to stand down.

I hope this war ends quickly and as peacefully as possible. There has already been way too much unnecessary suffering.

That would've been my truth.

But instead I said “nice” in a super high pitched tone.

It’s awkward and difficult for me to talk about war and death and pain with a stranger. I don’t want to upset them or overstep and make things worse.

This scenario has happened to me before. Toronto is my home, but Iran is my homeland—where I was born. So when a non-Iranian person reaches out to show support for the tragedies happening in my home country, it melts my heart.

Looking back, I wish I spent a minute after our photoshoot to have a conversation. Not for social media, but just as humans.

I think Helen started following me on IG, but I can’t find her.

Maybe one day we will talk to each other again.

Helen, thank you for your time. Thank you for your smile. And thank you for your truth in answering my question at the end. Whatever inspired your answer, I am grateful we got a few moments to make something beautiful together.

Big love,

D

PS: If you want to see the behind the scenes video of me approaching Helen and taking these photos, check out my Instagram or my TikTok.