Stop Throttling Your Joy
When was the last time you felt 10 out of 10 joy? It might sound like a silly or strange question, but hear me out…
A few years ago, while in a group therapy session, the facilitator got us to do a simple exercise that knocked my socks off.
By the end of the exercise it became crystal clear to me that I throttle my own joy. I had a hard limit on the joy I allow myself to feel and express. I felt that limit at around 8 out of 10.
This was entirely unconscious—I had no clue I was doing it!
After some more self-exploration, I realized this limit around joy was for two reasons:
I was afraid that I would annoy my friends and family with my excitement. So I cut off 20% from the top so I would fit in better with other people.
I was afraid to be joyful about life because at some point in the past, I felt an excitement that went away and I was left feeling disappointed.
In both cases, there was an underlying belief that if I got too excited or joyful, I would lose love.
Once this all became conscious, everything changed. I could see how ridiculous it was and decided to upgrade the joy in my life.
I did a lot of work over the past few years to release these limitations. The work is ongoing but it’s worth it.
Because joy is maybe my favourite thing about life. It’s everywhere. It’s simple. It always surprises me. It feels amazing in my body. It adds so much colour and spice. Joy is like golden rays from the sun, and without it, life would feel cold and muted.
If this resonates and you are interested in exploring your own relationship with joy, here are 3 simple things you can do to start.
Over the next week, track when you experience 10 out of 10 joy in your life. If it’s never, take some time to reflect and maybe even journal about it.
Get curious about who in your life is the most joyful. Don’t judge or compare, just notice. Maybe there is something they can teach you.
If you have a journaling practice take some time this week to explore the difference between joy and happiness.
I hope you can use these tips to explore your relationship with joy, in order to bring more joy into your life.
Big love,
D