It’s different to have someone waiting for your writing. It feels distracting. It feels like an outside exercise, as opposed to an inner journey. I have a lot of resistance to the process. Currently.

I am okay with that. I know growth often feels uncomfortable. I also know that — despite the resistance — my human is highly adaptable and resourceful. He just needs a minute… and I have all the time for my human.

I realized today during my morning meditation that there is a totally different relationship I could develop with my human. I realized today that maybe my human is my soulmate.

The last 2 weeks I added a new element to my morning ritual. At 2 instances during my morning meditation/yoga flow, I take a minute to express to my mind and then my body, the gratitude and affection I hold for both of them. This is going to sound weird, but this affection is:

• 1 part what I would normally tell my partner Sarah, when I want to express my love and gratitude for her, and…
• 1 part what I imagine telling my future kids.

I express how much each (my mind and my body) means to me. I find honest and meaningful things to say to both. I try to be very specific and speak straight from my heart. And I check in to see if they are able to receive my love and gratitude. If they are not receiving it, I then try and adjust my language and approach.

The goal is to let them know I love them, I support them and that I wouldn’t want to be going through this life with anyone else.

All this to say, my human (aka my mind and body) is having a bit of tough go with this collaborative writing/editing flow. The good news is that it’s only week one since I started working with an editor.

I am going to give my mind and body some space and time to adjust. I’m going to listen to any suggestions they might have to optimize the process. I’m also going to stay open and honest with my editor, Sal. She’s great and I have a feeling she’ll understand the unique relationship I have with my human.

But also…

I am going to keep showing up. I’m going to keep doing the work. At first, my writing might not be to the standards of the past few months, but I’m going tokeep going. All of me. Mind, Body and Soul, together like one big cosmic family.

Sometimes God drops profound wisdom from the sky. I call these DMs from God. As in, direct messages.

But sometimes she doesn’t need to. Sometimes all she needs to do is ask a simple, perfectly timed question.

Today during my meditation, I started spiralling down a very unproductive path. For whatever reason I was fixated on solving a recent work problem. I watched myself, as I spent valuable meditation energy trying to solve a business problem that ultimately was not aligned with my core values or my highest self.

Then, all of a sudden God stepped in and asked one simple question.

“What do YOU really want Darius?”

I took one deep breath then suddenly — peace and clarity filled the room.

The 5-part answer flew out of me, with no hesitation.

1. I want to show people the magic that exists everywhere, when they experience life from the seat of their soul.
2. I want to remind people that the voice in their head is not them. We each have one of those voices and for whatever reason it’s always the thing that holds us back the most.
3. I want to show people the boundless strength that exists in vulnerability.
4. I want to help people bring down their walls, so that they can dive deep into their own hearts. The heart is the gateway to The Infinite. That’s the birthplace of all magic. That’s also where our greatest dreams are waiting for us.
5. And last, but certainly not least, I want to show people how trulybeautiful they are.

Sometimes, I imagine a time after my death.

I imagine my Facebook memories feed. You know, that reminder everyday that tells you what you shared on this exact day, in past years.

I imagine convincing a friend to login to my Facebook account after my death and re-share one post from my past, everyday.

My intention isn't to fool anyone into believing I am still alive, but instead to (hopefully) bring value to peoples lives with my content after my death. That value could be laugher, insight, vulnerability, kindness, support, goofiness, etc, etc. It doesn't all have to be serious and philosophical. It can also be fun and light. 

For me, there is something very empowering about imagining my social media content and my self-expression through the lens of eternity. I prefer that perspective, much more than through the lens of instant gratification and "likes", which I also fall victim to, much more than I'd like to admit. 

Here's what my Facebook memories looks like for today (Jan 10th). 

What would your feed say about you, after your death? (see your own here)

Is that message how you want to be remembered for eternity? 

Personally, I know I have many posts that are not how I want to be remembered. 

But that's okay. Those posts got me here and for that I am eternally grateful.