The Coronavirus + Empathy

Everyone is experiencing the coronavirus differently. 

I have seen a wide spectrum of responses: some people in full panic-mode, and some people who are almost in denial that it is happening. 

Most people I know are not on either extreme, but fall somewhere in the middle. 

I am not here to tell you which perspective is right, because I don’t think there is such a thing as a right perspective.

But I want to offer a loving suggestion for when you have conversations about what’s going on:

Leave a little room for people having a different experience from yours. 

I did NOT follow this suggestion last night; I tried to push my perspective of the coronavirus situation onto a dear friend. My comments came from a place of good intentions, but if I’m being honest, also from a forceful place of wanting to fix the situation.

This dear friend is a new dad and I was somehow oblivious to how much more difficult the news of this outbreak would be for him. I didn’t hold enough space for him to share his views on the matter, and only really saw things through my own lens: a healthy, 37-year-old man with no children. 

I felt really shitty afterwards and apologized to my friend. I messed up, but I am really glad we talked. It snapped me out of my self-oriented perspective and opened my heart to more empathy for others. 

We are currently going through a really complicated and challenging situation. I am not sure what’s in store, but I am going to do my best to send love and hold space for people—even if I don’t share their view.

Also, I am going to pay special attention to notice when the experiences of others crosses a boundary or creates harm for me. When this happens I am going to do my best to lovingly step away from that energy, without judging or making that person out to be wrong. 

I have no need to fix, judge or take on other people’s experiences or energy.

This is going to be really challenging for me, but I think it will also be a great opportunity to put into practice so many of the mindfulness and self-love practices I have been working on for the past few years. 

Much love,
D