Memoirs and musings of Darius Bashar. Toronto portrait photographer and writer, in pursuit of all things real, raw and intimate.
“This is your world. If there is something you need, ask for it.
If there is something you want to give, give it.
If there is something you want to risk, risk it.
Practice seeing what it’s really like to do what you need—and what you want—to do in this world.
Whatever comes up, we will deal with it.”
- Ann Bradney, Founder of the Radical Aliveness Institute
Chidiogo is not only brilliant, beautiful, and brave; she is also an amazing writer.
When I read her Instagram post yesterday it really struck a chord with me. I’m sharing her heartfelt words below.
They deeply resonate, especially on a day like today when I can’t seem to access my joy. Instead of feeling guilty or broken, thanks to Chidi’s words, I am going to be gentle and patient with myself and embrace these darker colours too.
The following words are written by Chidiogo Akunylii…
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — -
What does it mean to embrace all your colors?
Perhaps what comes to your mind is all the ways you get to trust that you are beautiful, that you are smart, that you are capable, that you ROAR! Amen to that!
However, in owning into my strengths, I continue to realise all the ways I hadn’t fully learned to celebrate the darker hues of my shades. The anger, the pain, the moments when I crumble into a ball and cry — those moments when I want to snap my fingers and the rainbows reappear. Let there be light.
But after years of ‘snapping out of it’, and celebration lighter days, I am leaning more and more into exploring the joys of darker clouds, knowing that they bring rain — tears that nourish seeds that are wanting to sprout.
Too poetic? Let me break it down.
For our branches to grow tall, bold and beautiful, our roots have to dig even deeper into the dark soil from where, if we can truly trust, it can draw so much strength. A wise friend taught me this.
I am learning to snap out of the story that I should feel any one way, and into a more colorful one of celebrating it all, and trusting that with loving non-judgmental awareness, I can stop being afraid of my shadows and step into all my colours.
To ROAR is to be fully in your power. All of you is welcome. All of us are needed.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — -
Thank you Chidiogo for saying yes to this shoot. For sharing your heart, your light, and your darkness with all of us.
Photos by Darius Bashar
Hair and Makeup by Kelly Davidson
Modelled by Chidiogo Akunyili
WANNA WORK TOGETHER?
For anyone who feels called to working together, now is the time to do so. Follow the link below for all the details on my amazing promo this month while it’s still up. --> www.dariusbashar.com/heart-shots
PS: Payment plans also available. My prices go up Oct 01!!
When I photographed Masai Ujiri last year for TEDxToronto, I had no idea that the Raptors were going to become world champions.
Masai is the President of the Raptors, he is insanely busy, and he probably gets his photo taken weekly if not more. Knowing this, I had to adjust my process.
And when Masai first arrived it was clear that our window to “get the shot” would be short.
He was friendly and attentive, but I could also feel that he was not so thrilled to interrupt his day and take a break for photography.
Things started off stiff and slow, which is almost always the case with every photo session. But the difference was that I did not have warm-up “get to know you” time like I do in most of my portrait sessions. We essentially started the shoot in the 4th quarter with 2 mins left on the clock. Crunch time!
I took a deep breath. Grounded myself. And let my heart lead.
This is when I had two game-changing instincts…
I asked him to pick the music. Suddenly the room was flooded with vibrant tunes from his home country Nigeria.
I looked around the room and found a basketball. I picked it up and tossed it over to him.
The moment the basketball hit his hands I could see his energy shift. His face lit up and I could see his inner-child come out. So much joy. So grounded. Masai was instantly transported to his happy place.
I could also feel our trust and connection grow.
He originally had a 10 minute “hard stop”—but he ended up staying for almost an hour. And what an incredible human being to photograph.
So grateful to Jeff Lohnes, Afshin Mousvian and the homies at TEDxToronto for this amazing opportunity. And of course, a special shoutout to Masai Ujiri.
(If you’re interested in learning how the black and white portraits came to be, click here to read the full story.)
—> Every single person I photograph has two things in common.
Sure, on the surface we’re all unique. Different ethnicities, ages, genders, body types, upbringings, occupations and pretty much anything else you can imagine.
But there are two things that show up in every shoot I’ve ever done—no matter what the person looks like.
Every person has a piece of themselves they desperately want to hide.
Every person, to varying degrees, has a desire to be fully seen.
The contradiction between these two parts of ourselves creates a tension.
And that tension is my obsession. Because it exists in everybody.
My process as a photographer plays right at this crossroads. The part of us that wants to hide and be safe. And the part of us that is so sick and tired of hiding. This is where the magic happens.
And if you’re willing to take a risk, sit in the discomfort, and let people see you in a place of vulnerability and sincerity, you’ll walk away feeling stronger, lighter, and able to access more of yourself.
Sometimes the only way through is by taking a deep breath, opening your eyes, and stepping into that which scares the fuck out of you.
𝗪𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝗪𝐎𝐑𝐊 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑?
For anyone that feels called to working together, I have an amazing promo this month. See the link below for all the deets --> www.dariusbashar.com/heart-shots
Take risks. Trust me on this one.
When I look at these photos, I remember a clear moment in a crazy ambitious project. It was for TEDxToronto, and the goal was to get 20 amazing photos of EACH speaker—in only 15 minutes! This was a long day.
What happened during this set of photos is the same moment that happens in every big shoot I’ve ever done. Once you get past the feeling of “What have I gotten myself into?” and then “This is too ambitious, this isn’t gonna happen.”
Past the chaos. Past the panic. And then somehow, at some point, you realize:
Shit. This might be really, really cool.
When I look at these photos, I see the moment that I knew it was going to work. And that risk, the promise of getting 20 photos in 15 minutes, somehow paid off.
Big risks = Big rewards
What would happen if you said YES to almost every project that was offered to you?
Forget outcome. Forget what you did or did not do in the past. Forget what might be one day.
YES, to projects with new co-creators.
YES, to projects that place you outside of your comfort zone.
YES, to projects that could not pay you.
YES, to projects that look impossible to complete.
YES, to projects that you know will never be complete.
"If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives." - Lemony Snicket
Thank you Kristen Saxton for the opportunity to collaborate on this project.
You took a risk and stepped outside of your comfort zone so that you could continue building out your portfolio as a Hair and Make-up artist. I love people who are chasing their dreams.
Also, a big thank you to Kim Foulkes for also saying YES. You were so easy and effortless to work with. Such a treat.
