My Anxiety Saved Me In The Ocean

2 days ago I was swimming in the ocean and got caught in a rip current. 

Rip currents are the cause of 80% of drowning in Costa Rica. 

There was no warning. One moment I was right next to Jenn’s dad, then suddenly I was about 75 feet away from him, being pulled fast into the Ocean. 

At first I didn’t understand what was happening. I started to swim towards the shore. But every few seconds when I popped my head up to see if I was getting closer, I was even further away. 

I’ve been warned about rip currents, so eventually I understood what was happening. I even knew the technique to survive a rip current. 

You’re not supposed to fight the current. You stay calm and float, letting the current pull you out into the sea. Then when the current is done (usually about 80-100 feet) you swim parallel to the ocean (about 20–50 feet, sometimes longer) and then you swim to shore diagonally. 

I understood this in theory. But when I suddenly found myself inside a rip current, all that theory went out the window. 

In the moment, I panicked. I swam with all my might directly towards shore. My heart rate rocketed as I used my entire physical strength to swim to safety. Yet the harder I tried, the more exhausted I became, and the further away I was towed. I was flooded with anxiety and caught in a negative feedback loop.

In order to get out of the chaos I needed to surrender, and fully let go of control. But I was scared to stop fighting the immense power of the Ocean.

It reminded me of my years of experience working through panic and anxiety in my work and personal life. I knew I needed to calm down my body and mind, or they would turn into my worst enemies. 

So I started to breathe deeply. I stopped wasting energy fighting against the chaos. I negotiated with the part of my mind that was convinced I was going to die.

And when I finally surrendered control to the Ocean, within seconds I was in calmer waters. 

I walked away with a deep gratitude for the many experiences I have had with anxiety in my life. All those “shitty” overwhelming moments honestly saved my life.

Amazing how life works sometimes. 

Today, I am getting back on the horse and going surfing for the first time. 

Wish me luck.